Dating comes with a number of unspoken rules that evolve and change over time. But, just because we have adapted to new social etiquette does not mean we need to reject everything old-fashioned. Hectic schedules and technology take their toll on romance, but it does not mean we can’t borrow from older generations and get the best out of both worlds. Here are some of those “outdated” rules that could benefit most people in relationships, as well as those looking for their soulmate.
Taking it slow
Take time to get to know each other instead of testing your relationship by moving in together after a month of dating. Enjoy seducing each other, sharing glances, and pilling layer after layer because it is as exciting as it could be helpful to learn whether you are compatible before making any rush decisions.
Don’t date multiple people at once
There’s nothing wrong with dating several people at once, but it can be distracting, so you can’t focus all your attention and be present for your date. It may seem like you’re putting all your eggs in one basket, but if you’ve been dating several people at once and are still looking, this could be the way to find someone more permanent.
Apologize when needed
Elton John sang that sorry might be the hardest word, and he was right. Apologizing is not the same as offering excuses for your behavior, but it is a way to a healthier relationship. Take responsibility, and try not to make the same mistake again because your apology is worthless if you do.
Talk to each other instead of gossiping to others
If you’re frustrated with your partner, you might want to send them a message via social media, which can trigger a series of questions from your followers, including people you wouldn’t trust in real life. Instead of taking the modern route, try talking to your partner, leaving the social media audience out of your relationship.
Bring flowers (or any other symbolic gift)
Bringing tiny gifts for dates is charming, perhaps cheesy, but it is still a great way to put a smile on someone’s day and make them feel important. It can be a chocolate or even your partner’s favorite granola bar. It is not about the gift but showing that you have been thinking about them.
Never make promises you can’t keep
Promises should mean something, so don’t make them if you are unsure you can’t deliver. If you do, keep them, and if possible, overdeliver. With promises kept comes a sense of gratitude, which is a way to honor your partner and your relationship.
Make calls instead of texting
Texting can be helpful, but there are better ways to navigate a relationship. When you’re on a call and listen to your lover’s voice, you can pick up on their teasing and flirting. It makes you more vulnerable and open instead of hiding behind the screen and taking time to craft the response they want to see.
Little politeness goes a long way
Polite gestures, like tiny gifts, are ways to show your partner that you see them and want to please them. It can be as simple as opening the door, showing interest in their hobbies, and doing your part to be understanding and reliable.
Enjoy time together without phones
To connect with your partner, disconnect from emails, social media, and everything that goes with modern dating. Show them you have all your attention, engage them in open and honest conversations without interruptions, and be present. It is a small gesture that will show them they are at the top of your list of priorities.
Leave each other little notes
There is something adorable and truly romantic when partners leave handwritten notes to each other. You don’t have to be a poet, and there’s no need for grandiosity. Wish them a good day, tell them you’ll think about them during work hours, or remind them you’re excited about your date. It is cute and takes no time, yet it can be endlessly endearing.
Look inside
Find out about your partner’s imperfections, goals, and regrets, and get to know their soul. If you fall for these hidden pieces of them, you have a chance for a long-lasting relationship. Scratching beyond the surface might be challenging because we’ve gotten used to superficial contact, but that makes it much more thrilling and leaves us vulnerable and open to romance.
Meet the parents
Once upon a time, potential partners were introduced to the family early on. This is an excellent way to see how your partner interacts with others, and they might point out some qualities or flaws you overlooked. Nowadays, it is expected to only know your child’s relationship status once you get a wedding invitation, but common does not always mean better.
Be positive
Instead of thinking your new relationship will end like all previous ones, give it a chance. It does not mean overlooking red flags. Instead, it is about entering a relationship with an open mind and open heart, without the weight of the past bringing you down. Positivity merely means believing in what you’re building while knowing nothing is set in stone.
Plan real dates
Instead of watching Netflix and chilling, try dating with a purpose. That means making dinner reservations, dressing up, pre-buying tickets for a movie or theater, and no phones or time restrictions. If you have to get up early, take a nap, but let your date flow as if you two are living in an old Hollywood movie, and all you have is this moment and eyes for each other only.
Be honest
What’s the point of going on dates if you don’t allow your partner to meet the real you? Honesty and openness never went out of style, though pressures of the modern world filled us with insecurities, so we feel like we have to play a particular part. But being truthful is liberating, and it is the best way to begin something meaningful.
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Kate Smith, a self-proclaimed word nerd who relishes the power of language to inform, entertain, and inspire. Kate's passion for sharing knowledge and sparking meaningful conversations fuels her every word.