Who doesn’t love a comforting, stretchy, and flavorful Italian meal? But while it’s tempting to forget etiquette in front of that sizzling hot pizza, be careful to avoid certain Italian dining mistakes that will earn you a side-eye from Giovanni the chef and Alessandro the waiter.
Adding Cheese Everywhere (It’s Not an American Restaurant!)
Bad news for cheese lovers: Italians have specific rules about when to use parmigiano.
While it’s a wonderful addition to pasta or risotto, it depends on the sauce. Italians never put parmigiano on dishes with fish or seafood, and it’s not typically used on pizzas or salads.
Do this Instead
Follow the waiter’s lead. If they don’t offer or bring you parmigiano, it means your dish doesn’t need it. Trust their expertise to enjoy your meal the Italian way.
Combining Bread and Pasta
While freshly baked Italian bread is mouthwatering, it’s not meant to be eaten with pasta or other starchy dishes like risotto. In Italy, garlic bread and buttered breadsticks are rare and are more of an American adaptation.
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Enjoy the bread with your soup or salad, or alongside an entrée that isn’t starch-based. This way, you can savor the bread without breaking Italian dining traditions.
Tucking Your Napkin into Your Shirt
When enjoying a big plate of spaghetti with red sauce, it might be tempting to protect your clothing by tucking your napkin into your shirt, but this is considered rude.
Do this Instead
Place your napkin on your lap. If you follow proper etiquette for eating pasta, you’ll likely avoid getting any sauce on your shirt. Be careful, and you’ll stay stain-free.
Cutting Spaghetti
One common etiquette mistake at Italian restaurants is cutting spaghetti. Italians frown upon cutting pasta like spaghetti or fettuccine with a knife.
It’s also improper to use a spoon to twirl your pasta.
Do this Instead
Twirl your spaghetti or fettuccine with your fork until you achieve a neat little bundle. If you find this challenging, it’s okay to use a spoon to assist with twirling, but make sure you don’t actually cut the pasta.
Not Finishing Your Food
In Italy, finishing your meal is seen as a compliment to the chef. Leaving a half-eaten plate of pasta might give the impression that you didn’t enjoy the taste.
Do this Instead
If you’ve enjoyed your meal (especially the sauce) use a piece of bread to mop up the remaining sauce on your plate. This gesture, called “fare la scarpetta,” is appreciated as it shows you enjoyed the food.
If you can’t finish everything, don’t force yourself, but try to come hungry to fully enjoy your meal.
Ordering Pasta as a Side Dish
Italian restaurants don’t list pasta under side dishes because it’s meant to be an entrée.
Pasta should never be ordered as a side. If you want both a salad and pasta but are watching your calories, don’t ask the waiter for pasta as a side dish.
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If you want pasta but can’t finish a full serving, eat what you like and ask the waiter to pack the leftovers.
It’s perfectly acceptable to ask for your leftovers to go (even at fancy restaurants) as it ensures the food doesn’t go to waste.
Using a Knife to Cut Lasagna
Using a knife to cut stuffed pasta (such as lasagna, stuffed shells, or ravioli) is considered bad etiquette.
Italians see pasta as deserving of respect and would never cut it with a knife.
Do this Instead
Use the side of your fork to cut the pasta into appropriately sized pieces that fit easily in your mouth.
This method respects the dish while maintaining proper dining etiquette.
Ordering Tap Water
While the tap water in Italy is safe to drink, asking for it in a restaurant is a no-no.
If you ever dare to do so, you might end up getting a lecture from the waiter about how tap water can spoil the taste of your meal.
Do this Instead
Opt for bottled water. You can choose between natural (naturale) or sparkling (frizzante) to complement your dining experience without compromising the flavors.
Not Signaling You’re Done Eating
In Italy, leisurely meals are a joy, but when you’re finished eating, it’s important to let the waiter know without confusion.
Putting utensils on the tablecloth, your napkin on the plate, or crossing utensils on the plate are all improper signals.
Do this Instead
Place your knife and fork diagonally across the plate to signal you’re done.
Imagine your plate as a clock face, with the ends of the fork and knife at 4 and 5, and the sharp ends at 10 and 11. Place your napkin to the left of your plate, never on it, to avoid making a mess.
Drinking Cappuccino with Your Meal
Though cappuccinos are a favorite drink in Italy, they’re not typically enjoyed with dinner. Cappuccinos are for breakfast or a mid-afternoon pick-me-up, not with a proper meal.
Do this Instead
Save your cappuccino for dessert—it pairs better with sweet treats and won’t clash with your savory main course.
Soaking Up Pasta Sauce with Bread
It’s tempting to use bread to get every last bit, but doing this at a fancy restaurant might raise some eyebrows. Using bread to wipe up sauce is common in casual settings but is considered very casual, so avoid it in formal dining.
Do this Instead
If you’re at home or a casual restaurant, go ahead and use your bread to enjoy every drop of sauce. However, in a more upscale setting, savor the sauce with your pasta and leave any remaining on your plate.
Asking the Wrong Person for Refills
The person who brings your food often isn’t the same person who takes your order.
If you ask the wrong person for more water or wine, you might get a dirty look or an unfriendly gesture.
Do this Instead
When you need more water, wine, or anything else, ask the person who took your order. This ensures your request is handled smoothly without any misunderstandings.
Asking for Extra Olive Oil or Vinegar
In non-Italian restaurants, asking for extra olive oil, vinegar, or butter might be acceptable. However, in Italy, it’s considered rude because the chef knows how to best present your authentic meal.
Do this Instead
If olive oil or vinegar didn’t come with your bread, don’t ask for it.
Bread is often seen as an accompaniment to your main course in classic trattorias, so enjoy it as the chef intended.
Eating on the Go
Much like Parisians, Italians, especially Romans, frown upon eating on the bus, metro, or while walking.
Meals should be savored while sitting down, ideally for two or three hours.
Do this Instead
Sit down and enjoy your meal. The only exception is gelato, which is commonly enjoyed during a leisurely stroll with family and friends.
Picking the “Right” Wine
Wine is a significant part of Italian culture, but picking the “right” wine can be intimidating. It’s more important to choose a wine you enjoy rather than strictly following wine-pairing rules.
Do this Instead
Order a wine you like or ask for a recommendation based on your preferences. Consider local and seasonal wines, which can often be excellent choices.
Don’t be afraid to ask your waiter or sommelier for advice, especially if you’re looking to try something new that complements your meal.
Dipping Bread in Communal Olive Oil
At Italian restaurants, bread and olive oil are often shared. However, dipping your bread directly into the communal olive oil or using the communal butter can be seen as bad manners.
Do this Instead
Pour some olive oil onto your personal bread plate instead of dipping directly into the communal bowl. For butter, take a small serving and place it on your bread plate before spreading it on your bread. This way, you maintain good etiquette and avoid appearing novice.
Passing Food to the Left
During a family-style meal or when sharing appetizers, passing food to the left can cause confusion and may result in someone missing out on delicious dishes.
Passing food to the left is considered a minor etiquette mistake in general dining.
Do this Instead
Always pass food to the right and take only what you intend to eat to avoid waste.
This is particularly important with bread, as Italians hold their bread and pasta in high regard and believe in finishing your portion.
Waiting for the Bill to “Magically” Come
In Italy, it’s considered a breach of etiquette for a waiter to bring your bill immediately after you finish eating.
Diners are expected to linger, enjoying their wine, water, and perhaps a coffee.
Do this Instead
When you’re ready to leave, signal for the waiter and ask for the bill by saying, “Il conto, per favore,” or use the universal hand signal of a squiggly finger in the air.
This lets you enjoy your meal at a relaxed pace without feeling rushed.
Not Leaving a Tip
In Italy, the service charge, or coperto, is usually included in the bill, covering table service and bread.
While tipping isn’t required, it’s a nice gesture if the waiter was friendly and helpful.
Do this Instead
If you had good service, leave a tip in cash as a sign of appreciation. A generous tip is always welcome and shows gratitude for excellent service.
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Kate Smith, a self-proclaimed word nerd who relishes the power of language to inform, entertain, and inspire. Kate's passion for sharing knowledge and sparking meaningful conversations fuels her every word.