8 Biggest Threats to a New Relationship

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The beginning of a new relationship is a fun and happy time…or at least it should be! It’s also easy though to get swept up in the excitement of it and overlook some of the more serious aspects of what it means when two people really come together and commit to each other.

Unfortunately, if you put on those rose colored glasses and keep them there blocking your view while you settle in, you might be surprised to encounter some of the biggest threats that you never saw coming. Here are some common ones.

 #1) Not Getting Along With His Family


Meeting the family doesn’t always happen right away, so sometimes you fall in love (or lust) without the slightest idea about the people he’s related to. Occasionally this plays out in the way that a parent or sibling isn’t super fond of you which can be incredibly challenging to deal with and overcome. This also plays out in the opposite direction…your pops might not like your man one bit.

This is a struggle for the couple to work through alone and decide if the trouble is too much or if the love is stronger than the distaste.

#2) The Dreaded Ex


You man was single when you met him, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an ex or two in his history. Occasionally one or both people in an ex-relationship aren’t exactly healed from the breakup, or worse there are still feelings lingering around. If she comes up regularly in conversation or is physically around because they work together or something, he should be respecting your feelings of uncertainty around it.

However, if his feelings for her are truly non-existent he might not see an issue with having her around, and if that’s the case you’ll have to decide if that’s the right situation for you to stay in.

#3) Your Own Resistance


This one can be a bit of a shock to experience, but sometimes when we get into a great relationship, we feel some fear and freeze up a bit. It’s not an insurmountable issue, but it does require you to acknowledge and accept that you’re feeling it and start to consider why. It can have to do with your own self-worth, your unresolved feelings over a former relationship, or just plain unfamiliarity.

If you start lashing out or looking for trouble you might want to consider if it’s just coming from you.

#4) His Platonic Girl Friends


If a man has a lot of female friends in his life, it can cause some challenges with his romantic couplings. For one thing, his female friends can be as close as family and just as protective so they can be challenging to get close to when you’re the new woman entering his life. For another thing, even the most casual of friendships can come off as a little flirty when they’re between men and women.

It can take a lot of trust to not feel a little jealous from time to time, even if you don’t think anyone is interested in crossing that line.

#5) Boredom


The newness of a relationship is quite thrilling, and even the physical way our bodies respond to it can mimic drug use on the brain! We get hooked and understandably so. But then as a little more time goes on and all-day romantics make out sessions drift back into working from home on Sunday’s instead, you might feel a sort of let-down.

Keep in mind that this is usually just because of the frenetic energy that surrounds new romance, and not because you’re actually bored by the person you’re romancing. Although if you were truly blinded by the idea of a relationship and didn’t take the time to get to know the guy, some of this could be a real feeling.

#6) Surprising Habits that You’re Not Cool With


You can’t possibly know everything about a person before you get together, that sort of getting to know a person spans a lifetime. Some of those things you find out early on however can come as a bit of a shock…especially if you really don’t like them. You might discover for example that your boo drinks way more heavily with his friends than with you and has a pension for getting into bar brawls, or you might find that you have completely opposing viewpoints about cleaning the house.

It can be aggravating to find out something you don’t like about this person who is newly your everything, you might even feel duped! That’s a moment where you truly have to consider if these things are deal breakers for you or if there’s some room for coming to a middle ground.

#7) You Don’t Agree On Big Stuff


Not agreeing on the best Chinese takeout in town might be annoying but it’s certainly not a deal breaker. But having a disagreement on having children, or whether moving for work is a possibility are the types of things that are. In a new relationship it can feel a little premature and full of pressure to discuss the potentials of your future, but it’s a lot easier now than being shocked into the fact that you and your boyfriend don’t even want the same things out of life at all.

#8) Lack of Communication


It doesn’t matter where the communication drop off occurs, if it’s the fact that you don’t feel like talking to him when you get home from work or the fact that he won’t return your text messages when you spend the weekend at your sister’s house, a lack of communication is truly a silent relationship killer. Without it you have no way to express your thoughts, emotions, and hopes for what is currently going on and what is to come next. Resentment can build and those loving feelings can feel like they got rained on.

On the other side of this, if there’s one thing that can solve a lot of the other issues mentioned above, communication is certainly the best thing to try.

Have you ever entered a new relationship and then been thrown off by some of the issues that came up without warning? We’d love to hear your experiences of any we listed here or something else, and whether you could get over it or not!

Kate Smith, a self-proclaimed word nerd who relishes the power of language to inform, entertain, and inspire. Kate's passion for sharing knowledge and sparking meaningful conversations fuels her every word.