Working with people comes with its ups and downs, especially when there’s alcohol involved. Most people know bar etiquette, making it easier for bartenders to do their jobs. However, what may appear polite to a customer can be annoying and disruptive for a bartender. Here are some do’s and don’ts about seemingly polite behaviors that bartenders have to keep up while working.
Dancing in the bar area
It is one thing to sway your hips, but turning the bar area into a dance floor is a significant misstep, especially if the place is busy. Most bars have dance floors, if nothing else improvised ones, where people gather to show off their moves. If you start dancing in the bar area, you’re slowing down the traffic and the staffers.
What to do instead
You can’t have it both ways – sit in the bar area and show off your dancing skills. You need to think of other people trying to get to bars because they will order drinks and tip bartenders, but that’s not all. Other employees, including servers, carry trays, and one wrong move can lead to a disaster.
Cleaning after breaking something
Accidents happen, so if you dropped your beer bottle or a cocktail glass, that’s fine. As soon as you start cleaning up, that can be problematic. The bartender does not want you near the broken glass because intoxicated people should not be around it. If you get a cut, it could become the bar’s responsibility.
What to do instead
Keep in mind that even a tiny cut could create a bigger mess. That’s why the proper thing to do is to let staffers do their job, and instead of apologizing a dozen times, make sure you tip well. While trying to clean up is a nice gesture in general, always leave it to bar employees, and don’t worry – you’re not the first customer to break something.
Being overly chatty
Some people genuinely believe that bartenders are bored or lonely, so they start talking, and since the bartender is smiling, they just won’t stop. It starts off light, but soon, they might be giving their life stories away, making it uncomfortable for a bartender to remind them they are there to serve drinks, not to find a new best friend.
What to do instead
Remember that a bartender has to be friendly because their tip depends on it. They might not mind a bit of chit-chat if the bar’s nearly empty, but they are still there to work, not to be your shoulder to cry on. Order, pay, tip, and talk to other guests without interrupting a bartender during their shift.
Flirting and asking them out
Being friendly and flirting are not the same. Part of a bartender’s job is to be polite, which often includes smiling, but it does not mean they are flirting with you. If you look around, you will notice they are acting similarly to others, and that does not mean you should be pushy or assume they want something that’s not on the table.
What to do instead
If you see a bartender or server you like, you need to understand that this is their place of work, but there are ways not to appear creepy. Pay your bill and tip. Only then can you write down your number on a napkin and leave it to them. If they were really flirting, you will find out soon. If not, let that be a lesson that they weren’t into you.
Not knowing your order
It is bad enough if one person flags a bartender down without knowing what they want. But, if you are buying a round with your friends, don’t waste the bartender’s time waiting for everyone in your group to decide what they want. There are other people to be served, and it is a general rule to refrain from flagging down a bartender before knowing your order.
What to do instead
Ask your friends to check out the menus and decide so everyone knows their order before stopping the bartender. It makes no difference to you, but for a bartender, it is time-saving. Imagine if every group took time to decide each time they ordered. It would create a complete chaos.
Asking bartenders to have a drink on you
This is one of the most common, seemingly polite behaviors bartenders wish people stopped doing. They don’t have the time to have a drink with you, but more importantly, they are not supposed to do that. Many bars have rules that prohibit staffers from drinking while on duty.
What to do instead
If you want to be polite, tell a bartender to add a drink to your tab so they can have it once the shift ends. Even better, you can use that money to tip better. If every bartender had a drink with every customer who offered, they would be intoxicated before the middle of their shift.
Cleaning up
If you spill a drink and think using napkins is helpful, it is not. Similarly, if you believe that picking up the trash around and stuffing it into a glass is a good idea, think again. You are only creating more chaos while leaving the bartender with soggy napkins. They also have to pull out those items you trashed into a glass because that glass needs to be washed and reused.
What to do instead
Tell a server or any other staffer if you spill something, and they will adequately clean it. And in the case of trash, it is better to leave it alone than to stuff it into a glass or an ashtray. If you see a trash can, pick up your mess and deal with it; if not, leave it. Bar employees often have to deal with much worse than spilled drinks, so there’s no need to be embarrassed. However, you don’t have to create additional work.
Reaching over the bar
You might need a straw, and the bartender’s already too busy, so why not take it yourself? Or did you see some fruit garnish, so why not pick it up when it is close to you? Garnish stations are not buffets, and reaching over the bar is equivalent to going to the bank and placing your hand over the cashier’s desk.
What to do instead
Instead of reaching over the bar, wait your turn and tell the bartender what you need. Generally, whenever you need help with spilling, breaking, or anything extra, tell one of the staffers instead of making a mess. Once you touch garnish, they have to throw out the whole tray, so keeping your hands to yourself is best.
Vague requests
Menus exist for a reason, and one of them is for you to see the offer and choose what you want. Telling a bartender to bring you something with vodka, fruity, or even worse, to surprise you is not cute, yet bartenders have to deal with these requests all the time. If you genuinely need help, explain what you like, but don’t be vague.
What to do instead
Tell the bartender you want to try a cocktail and explain which liquor you like the best. However, despite their best intentions, there are no guarantees you will like what you got, and that’s up to you. If you’re in the mood for experimenting, that’s fine, but a bartender is not a mind reader.
Not speaking up
People who work in bars have seen everything from accidentally messing up your drinks to needing help getting home safely and dealing with someone sipping something in someone’s drinks. Many people will save complaints for social media or risk their lives because they don’t want to disrupt the bartender or other workers.
What to do instead
Bars do not want bad reviews, nor do they want to be liable for someone’s safety, which includes health-related emergencies. It might be awkward, but speaking up can benefit other patrons and workers and an overall sense of security.
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Kate Smith, a self-proclaimed word nerd who relishes the power of language to inform, entertain, and inspire. Kate's passion for sharing knowledge and sparking meaningful conversations fuels her every word.